Saturday, March 31, 2012

The War Inside Me

I keep thinking that I’m going to get used to this. The first round laid me pretty flat, but I came out of round two feeling pretty good. So this round was supposed to be easier, right?

The doctors did warn me that it doesn’t work that way; the chemo builds in your system and each round takes a little more out of you than the time before.

After weeks of being assaulted by chemo and hospital food, my taste buds seem to have completely packed it in. I wouldn’t mind so much, but the dead taste they left in my mouth is truly revolting. Add to that the other, “digestive issues” I’ve been having and it can make for a pretty disgusting day.

The pain in my hands and feet has faded, but there is new evidence of the chemical warfare raging inside me. The skin on my hands has become thin and blistered as the chemo slowly ekes out of the capillaries. It makes things like holding stuff, turning on light switches, and brushing my teeth painful and stingy, and I tore a good chunk of skin off one finger undertaking the delicate procedure of opening a blind. At least this is a side effect they were expecting, even if their best treatment option is just lots and lots of glycerine.

Add to the general malaise, fatigue and a serious case of chemo brain has made the week go by in a hazy fuzz. The good news is that round three is over on Good Friday, which puts me within striking distance of finally being finishing with this nonsense.

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